That Awkward Question- “When are you due?”

Not pregnant

Do strangers often ask you if you are pregnant? Do others often inquire on your due date?

Are you pregnant?

Yes? Congratulations!

No? Yeah, me either.

Ah, the social faux pas that plaques apparently a lot of people. Sometimes they just can’t help it! And sometimes I look down and think, “oh my god! I DO look pregnant!”

This has happened to me too many embarrassing times and I never want to embarrass them back, I don’t get mad or upset (on the spot, maybe later). My youngest child is 15 years old and I had a tubal in 2013, so I definitely am not pregnant.

What do you say? Sorry, no I’m not pregnant. It’s just this stupid shirt.. which I will never wear again. Food baby? Should I lie and say yes??

Now we are both embarrassed. I find comfort in two very important things: I don’t just look fat. And I look young enough to have a baby.

Not that I think I look old really, but I feel like I definitely look in my forties. That being said, there is NOTHING wrong with having children in your forties. I have plenty of friends that had their children late in life, well, not even late. Just later than I did. Now I am playing with grandchildren while they are chasing toddlers. Phew. I don’t know if I could do it at this point.

It’s been a few years since this question has come up. The man and I were shopping at an Amish community and went into a bakery. It smelled so good, we were on the last stretch of our outing. We were going to get a drink, share a cinnamon roll and sit under the canopy and enjoy each other’s company.

The clerk, a very nice older woman, smiled, wrapped up the roll and asked me when I was due. I just nervously laughed and said, “I’m not.” I pulled my top down a little and smoothed it out. “This shirt keeps bunching up.” Yes, I blamed my shirt. We left the shop and I really didn’t even want the cinnamon roll anymore. OK, I had a little, but the taste wasn’t as enjoyable now.

I tried to laugh it off. I tried to shake it off. It was not deniable that it upset me. I put a light sweater on that I’d had with me despite the warm temperature. And I was done for the day. I try to remind myself to “suck it in” but man, I just want to be comfortable!

I know she meant nothing by it, and I know no harm was meant in the innocent comment. Who doesn’t adore pregnant women? I get it. It still makes me feel awkward about my body.

I try to take it in stride and remember:

They are not saying I am fat—I mean, that’s just mean!

I look young and healthy enough to carry another child.

And until this bloated belly look is gone, I will just have to smile, shake my head, and smooth out my shirt. And suck it in!

3 thoughts on “That Awkward Question- “When are you due?”

  1. I feel you on this one!! I hate getting that question and since I have been trying to have a second child for years with only losses to show for it makes the comments even harder to swallow. I agree, most mean nothing by it, but man…some times you just wish people would keep their comments to themselves lol.

  2. oh my gosh, I am 66 and people still ask me if I,m pregnant..i feel proud that I look that young…guess they didn,t see all the gray hair. lol

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